Hello I'm Dr. Bernice Bernhard a New York
State Licensed Psychologist practicing here in New York City. In this segment we are going
to be talking about effective parenting for preteens. You know the maturity level of your
child. If your child is mature I would suggest a contract kind of a legal looking piece of
paper that looks as if a law firm had kind of presented it. If you can get your child
to write the contract that is better, whether it is doing their homework on time, doing
chores, not having an attitude when they talk to you, sharing with their siblings, whatever
it may be, you want to have it in the contract.
Also in the contract you want to have the
consequences. Now for children this age you are going to pick probably watching television,
if they have a cell phone, not using the cell phone, not having a play date, going to bed
early, anything that you think will matter will be in the contract. If they are immature
then I would say you can have a good choice box where you have things inside like baseball
cards where they can get maybe not a whole pack but a few cards for good behavior for
doing the things that are important to you. The important thing is to be neutral when
you have a consequence. You do not want to pay attention to negative behavior and be
very effusive when they do the right thing and congratulate them and let the prizes be
a sleep over, extra friends, whatever it may be that you know they'll enjoy. Thank you.
This is Dr. Bernice Bernhard..