How can you reconnect with a teen who is drifting
away? Boy, don't give up. Be on it. One of my favorite books is "Hold on to Your
Kids," by Gordon Neufeld. He talks about this notion that we have to
hold on to them. It's not their job. We are the ones that have to show that we
are not giving up, that we care. A lot of times, a teen will give a lot of
cues that suggest that we are the last person on Earth that they want to be in the same
room with, but there are ways. If you think in smaller units of time. Say for ten minutes you sit together and play
with the dog or something interesting. You empower them. One of the things that teens are up against
is that their parents, more than anyone else, make them feel little. They have a developmental imperative that
they grow up, move away, and separate. If we come along side them in such a way that
we respect their opinions, sensibilities, and we are curious about them and what they
believe, they are going to be receptive.
If every time we walk in the room we carry
the aroma of an agenda, then they are going to pull away..